I Should Have Died

Someone saved my life, probably. Nelly the narcissist (who lives in my brain) says “doomed me to a life of suffering”, and she has a point. A ridiculous one, lol. It makes me chuckle. I was two, and was dragged out of the Pacific Ocean. That was when I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Modern medicine has been sustaining me pretty much ever since.

Over the next 42 years I found the answer to life, the universe and everything. Nah, just kidding. I got to test, and know myself through determination and adventure.  What I found out is that, like everyone I meet, I am unique and have unique capabilities.  Nelly tells me I am broken, and it might be true if the standard is to live an average life in modern society.  Fortunately society is a committee grown conceptual construct, and committees are often next to useless.

I am a child of the universe, no less that the sun, the stars, the ocean, and the birds.  Essentially we are all made of star dust.  To be an outlier on the graph of societal normalcy is as natural as being an average shmo.

After struggling through one metaphorical obstacle course after another I’m still winning because, whether I chose to go again or to change direction I learn.   I have learned that my nature , as does everyone’s, constricts my capabilities, AND it shapes my hopes and dreams.

There are very good reasons to battle through particular obstacle courses.  Now I find myself empty nesting and without debt or other major obligations, I’m choosing an unusual obstacle course.  I’m heading out in a direction that seems, hopeful, adventurous and beautiful.

I’m laughing at Nelly and putting my best efforts into getting and doing what I dream of now.   I’m headed into (…Dum, dum, duuuuuum….) Van life.

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